Sexual Dysfunction - Still Taboo To Discuss

“Mankind is able to withstand the worst calamities in the world, except those in bed” (Tolstoy)

Talking about sexuality is still taboo in our society today. What goes on under the sheets is often reserved for the couple's intimacy. Sometimes, even among the couple, there may be difficulties in talking about certain matters of their sexuality.

And when a problem arises in the couple's sexual dynamics, how do men and women deal with it? Is it easy to seek help for sexual dysfunction?

Sexual dysfunction is defined as a “disturbance of sexual desire and psychophysiological changes that characterize the sexual response cycle and cause marked malaise and interpersonal difficulties”, explains sexologist in Delhi. That is, sexual dysfunction can be any change in the sexual response (that is, in the ability to feel sexual desire, to feel arousal, to reach orgasm, etc.) of the individual, which causes malaise and affects his life and your relationships.

 

At any point in life, we may be affected by sexual dysfunction, and the prevalence rates are very variable (eg prevalence of erectile dysfunction is 10% and 25% for female orgasm problems). These numbers are still significant, which means that many people have, at this very moment, a sexual difficulty. However, studies show that the percentage of people seeking help (medical and / or psychological) is very low (eg only 30% of men with erectile dysfunction). What justifies this data?

As Tolstoy says, "humanity is able to withstand the worst calamities in the world, except those in bed". In fact, in our Western culture, sexuality and, specifically, sexual dysfunctions, encounter many barriers to their opening to the public. Few are the brave who venture to advocate for the discussion of sexuality, says the best sexologist in Delhi.

On the one hand, this fact may be related to our religious education and the values ​​it instils in relation to sexuality, chastity, purity, and blame for sexual acts that are not aimed at reproduction.

On the other hand, gender roles themselves learned in society, also influence our ease or difficulty in addressing sexual issues. Gender roles are the characteristics typically attributed to men and women and, in the case of the discussion of sexuality, it is easier for a man to speak publicly about sexuality than for a woman - who is supposed to be more modest and pure. However, in smaller groups, where there is greater intimacy in relationships (eg group of friends), it is noted that women are more comfortable discussing their sexual experiences and difficulties than men, which are only for superficial references of quantity and not of quality. Especially when it comes to sexual difficulties, men encounter numerous barriers, says sexologist doctor in Delhi.

However, what we, at the sexologist clinic in Delhi, know is that not talking about the subject will not make it disappear. So, if you have any sexual difficulties, always try to seek advice and an experienced ear, so that a small problem does not become a "big problem", suggests sex specialist in Delhi.

The Big Penis and Women

The big existential question in the world today has nothing to do with metaphysics. The question that most anguishes half the Earth's population is: does penis size influence female pleasure? Which would be better, more "efficient" in the sexual act for the woman's orgasm? Small, medium or large? Scientists are eager to find the definitive answer, but for now, it is all speculation.

In the sex clinic in Delhi, we experience the need for men to answer this question every day. We realized that there is a social construction about the need to have a big penis, today made mainly by the media - specifically the porn movie sites - and the ancestral idea of ​​“power”, of domination, of standing out before others.

Many of the patients who come to sexologist clinic in Delhi anxious, with their average penis size naturally (from 14 to 16 Centimeters into erection, natural average Indian), emotionally fragile for making real and imaginary comparisons of its members with those who see the video. In most cases, the justification is that they want to enlarge the penis to give pleasure to the woman. They believe that all women in the world dream of relating to men with huge penises. However, according to what researchers have found over the years, in hundreds of surveys carried out in different parts of the planet, "measuring" female pleasure through the size of the partner's penis is not so simple.

 According to sexologist in Delhi, many misconceptions have developed about the penile-vaginal relationship: men consider deep vaginal penetration extremely important to stimulate a woman to orgasm. However, the most sensitive area of ​​the vagina - whose channel is approximately 10-12 cm long - is the part closest to the outside of the female body, 3-4 cm from the vaginal entrance. The vagina has the ability to adapt to normal penis size. Sex specialist in Delhi points out that, taking into account that the average penis size is above this mark.

The detail that should be noted is: all studies already carried out have proven that the thicker circumference of the penis has given women much more pleasures than the length. The thickest member can provide greater friction against the vestibular bulbs, which are located close to and anteriorly on both sides of the urethra.

Some sexologists in Delhi have even claimed that a smaller than average penis could better stimulate the G-spot, although the actual existence of that spot is still disputed. A physiological fact that cannot be ignored is that long penises (over 20 cm) can rub or hit the cervix. The vast majority - 95% of women - find this uncomfortable and painful, says the best sexologist in Delhi.

During sexual intercourse, the vagina increases its length quickly after the initial insertion of the penis - from about 10 to 14 cm - but the initial and final depths vary from woman to woman by about 2.5 cm. When the woman becomes fully aroused, the vagina expands as the cervix retracts, meaning that, at certain angles of penetration, the longer penises will slide on or under the cervix.

The question would be whether the woman attaches as much importance to the size of the penis as the man assumes. From the experience we had with some patient women in the clinic, size does not affect anything. But some do show preference for thicker penises.

Anyway, having a large penis does not seem to mean greater female pleasure. A big penis does seem to be a matter of pleasure for the man himself. He wants to go for penis enlargement treatment in Delhi for himself, for the sake of self-esteem and personal fulfilment.

Sexual Compatibility And Incompatibility: Common Questions

 

This is a recurring topic of consultation with sexologist in Delhi in couples, sometimes disguised with other diagnoses such as secondary erectile dysfunction, low selective sexual desire, or secondary anorgasmia. But deep down what happens, although it is hard to recognize it, is that there is no sexual understanding or erotic attraction in the couple. 

In the sex clinic in Delhi, we are even seeing many cases of men who are in a relationship with women who objectively recognize as attractive, and yet they do not want them or they do not respond sexually since they consider that they do not perceive them as stimulating. 

Little has been studied in this regard from medical sexology and psychosexual therapy, and what we can say is based more on clinical experience than on the evidence of scientific research. However, we know enough to propose some reflections and also actions that can be helpful to clarify and perhaps solve the issue. 

 

What is sexual compatibility? 

Sexual compatibility is reflected in the mutual erotic attraction, as well as in the coincidence of the sexual preferences of both, that is, those behaviors, games or situations that turn them on and excite them. Many times we feel that compatibility from the chemical ... looking, smelling, feeling, in short, perceiving that person activates our sexual desire almost automatically. In fact we call sexual compatibility having chemistry. Sexually compatible couples tend to have a very spontaneous understanding at the level of non-verbal communication. Each one knows what the other likes, when is the moment to change the stimulus, to maintain a rhythm, to caress certain erogenous zones and how to do it. If the couple's relationship is harmonious and there are no sexual dysfunctions, in this case sex is experienced as highly satisfactory and a very important aspect of the bond. Over time, sexual compatibility can be enriched if we get to know each other more and more by exploring each other, talking about our fantasies and recognizing the effects of different erotic games, suggests the best sexologist in Delhi.

What does it depend on that two people are compatible with sex? 

Some sexologist doctor in Delhi suggests that in part it is something -literally- chemical. Somehow through the sense of smell, the mechanisms of desire and sexual response are activated, and studies indicate that this usually occurs in couples in which there is genetic compatibility in the event of an eventual offspring - something that is related to the so-called histocompatibility complex.

On a psychological level, we can say that sexual compatibility depends on people making a good choice of partner. That is, they are with someone who fully matches the love map, that is, the type of man or woman desired -both from the image and from the personality and erotic behavior, and also the erotic games and stimuli that cause sexual pleasure.

Can that compatibility be lost? 

In some cases, we find couples in which the compatibility never existed. We speak of sexual incompatibility when the couple does not match our erotic expectations. There are marked differences between the images we have of a sensual person, compared to the real characteristics of our partner. It is also common for erotic styles to be the opposite. If, for example, one loves relaxed, slow, and gentle sex, the other is attracted to a more instinctive and visceral eroticism. Sexual incompatibility is common in couples who are not chosen for sexual attraction but for other factors: emotional security, social status, economic power, and desire to form a family, external pressures. 

On the other hand, in the case of couples who did have this chemistry from the beginning, it can be lost due to routine sexual scripts, accustoming, changes in the order of priorities, conflicts and abuse. A separate chapter is what is called the parenting of the bond. They are those couples who have not known how to sustain their erotic relationship and there comes a point where they perceive each other in a familiar, friendly, but no longer sexual sense. "It's like she's my daughter," or "I'm sorry I slept with a brother," they say. If you intervene in time and the couple has the necessary cognitive, emotional, and motivation resources - in addition to good professional help from sex specialist in Delhi, it is possible to recover it. In other cases, it may be too late. 

How do you recover when a partner feels like they don't have the chemistry they used to? 

The possibility of bringing the positions closer when we detect areas of incompatibility is relative. It all depends on how big the differences are. If there are points of mutual attraction and coincidences in some satisfying erotic games for both of you, it is about reinforcing those shared aspects. Also through exploration and creativity, you may find some fantasies that you may not have previously known about, and that arouses mutual excitement and pleasure.  

Then we must establish agreements regarding the differences. For example, if there are discrepancies in the sexual positions that cause more pleasure or the coital rhythm that stimulates them the most, it is about each one finding their moment to enjoy in their own way. Let us always be clear that in sex there must be a balance between pleasing and being pleased, says top sexologist in Delhi.

Is it possible to work on the differences in sexual frequency? 

Sexual compatibility/incompatibility also includes sex thermostats. Each person has their own level of sexual desire as a parameter that, although it varies according to different factors, follows a very personal pattern. When both members of the couple have a different level of sexual impulse, we are facing an incompatible aspect, and the problem is when that difference in the sexual thermostat is important and permanent. And as a consequence, distortions appear in relation to how we see our partner, which are often channeled in sometimes rude labels, for example: " You are frigid, you never want to do it with me" or "You are a sexopath, you do not think of anything other than sex". And from there, there is little that we can build as a solution, simply because respect has already been lost, explains sexologist in South Delhi.

That is why we must avoid imposing parameters of supposed normality, such as the idea that in stable relationships, love must be made once a day, or three times a week. Each couple finds their own rhythm, the one that is most satisfying for them, and always considering that different factors can circumstantially alter the desire. When the difference is important, the first thing we have to do is understand the other, put ourselves in their place, and not judge or prejudge. From there we can think of solutions: alternatives of sexual satisfaction that do not involve intercourse (such as masturbation or oral sex) in such a way as not to pressure the partner, but at the same time the other party has a certain satisfaction of their impulse sexual. Reinforce intimacy and shared moments so that desire is stimulated. Discuss erotic games or changes in the sexual script that could increase sexual motivation. Work with sexual fantasies on a mental level, as a resource to increase sexual desire, suggests sexologist in East Delhi.

Erectile dysfunction is not a disease. All you need to know to live peacefully

 

Everyone must know that erectile dysfunction is also not a disease says sexologist in Delhi, India. They no longer have to use the terms impotence and helplessness in sex education, in articles and interviews in the mass media, on television. The penis is not the symbol of male potency: for the true sexual liberation of all men (and women), when doing sex education it must be explained that it is the capacity to love (and the knowledge of making love) what it really matters, not the penis and its erection.

Erectile dysfunction can be a symptom of some neurological and cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, prostate surgery, as well as an effect of some antidepressants, antipsychotic drugs, etc. After the age of 50-60, erectile dysfunction is common, although there are no diseases, and sexologists in Delhi say it is for age. Instead, it is caused by incorrect sex education, in fact, it can be prevented by training the ischiocavernosus muscles (the muscles of rigid erection) with Kegel perineal exercises. Another frequent consequence of the absence of proper sex education is what the best sexologist in Delhi, India calls psychological erectile dysfunction which causes a failed erection with a partner, despite the anatomy and physiology of the erection being perfectly normal.

 

Everyone, especially teenagers, must know that an inexplicable erection failure, especially the first few times, can happen for many reasons, as well as for anxiety and ignorance about how to make love, even for fatigue, stress, overeating, drugs (therefore also alcohol and cigarettes), pornography abuse/addiction (which then inhibits mental arousal in real life), economic or family thoughts, doing it without desire or "fucking" just to prove that you are a man, while the real man is the one who has freed himself from sexual obsessions/slavery and also knows how to say no to a woman he doesn't know or doesn't love, says top sexologist in Delhi, India.

When an occasional dysfunction occurs in order not to make it permanent, you don't have to worry and immediately try to put yourself to the "test", that is to immediately try again to have another sexual relationship, because it is easy to enter a vicious circle: occasional failure to erect, anxiety, to the test, excessive control of one's reactions or prediction of failure, lack of erection, anxiety, etc. From an occasional episode - after which a period of rest was enough, not giving it importance or talking about it with a doctor to calm down - you can really get to dysfunction that only the sexologist doctor in Delhi can then solve.

For this reason, it is also important not to be influenced by the advertising of drugs that allow you to easily have erections with a pill. Men, and today especially teenagers too (for some years they have been asking me for advice even 18-20-year-olds, it's absurd!), Must understand that when it comes to drugs it means that certain substances can be taken only after the appropriate tests and not by people who want to take them ( viagra, etc.) to overcome anxiety because they believe they have a non-existent disease or just because they think they are enhancing their performance, says sex specialist in Delhi.

Therefore, if an occasional dysfunction occurs, at any age, it is very important that in subsequent sexual intercourse the attention is not turned to one's arousal and to make love a few times without thinking about the penetration of the penis into the vagina, limiting itself with the partner to sensual massages, kisses and caresses all over the body. If an erection appears, don't rush and learn to have mutual orgasms without penetration, otherwise, the anxiety of performance could take over, suggests sex doctor in Delhi.

Questions and Answers About Kegel Exercises

 

Among the tools we have to improve sexual function in men and women we find the so-called Kegel exercises, which in fact have an important role in sex treatment in Delhi, India. So much so that pelvic floor physiotherapy plays an increasingly prominent role in sexological intervention.

Beyond being a relatively popular technique thanks to the internet, we must say that there is also quite a lack of knowledge regarding its characteristics, objectives, benefits, and implementation. So we decided to dedicate this post to the most frequent questions we receive in relation to Kegel exercises. 

What are Kegel exercises?

First of all, we want to mention that his name is in memory of Dr. Arnold Kegel who developed this technique for his patients back in the 40s, indicating it as a method for the control of female urinary incontinence after childbirth. 

The main purpose of the exercises is to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and improve the function of the urethral or rectal sphincter, although with time benefits were also found in the sexual function of men and women. 

Its good result depends on the proper practice of the technique and a constant and disciplined training following the exercise program recommended by the sexologists in Delhi. 

 

What is its application in Sexology?

They are useful exercises for the treatment of different sexual dysfunctions. In the case of men, they are part of the treatment programs for premature ejaculation and are also indicated in erectile dysfunction. With regard to women, they are recommended in orgasmic dysfunction, pain disorders, and vaginismus. 

Their effect is sometimes functional, other times more psychological, but they are worth indicating for two reasons: they have no contraindications and require little time to practice. 

What are the goals of Kegel exercises?

Their objectives depend on the dysfunction for which they are indicated. 

In the treatment of premature ejaculation, they improve the genital sensations, and therefore their control. They help to differentiate between tension and relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles, something fundamental considering that the permanent contracture of that area - a typical symptom of sexual anxiety - promotes the lack of control of arousal. And also by having good management of that musculature, the man learns to graduate the tension and relaxation of the same at different moments of the excitatory process, learning to regulate it, says sexologist in Delhi, India.

In the treatment of erectile dysfunction, we have evidence that Kegel exercises improve the blood supply to the penis, and therefore it's functioning. 

How is the technique practiced?

The first step is to identify the muscles to work correctly. It is therefore recommended by sexologist doctor in Delhi, India that at least once the exercise is practiced when urinating, stopping the urine several times until the process is made conscious. Once this step has been taken, at any time and in a comfortable place -but no longer when urinating-, perform the exercise in a sitting position, with the trunk slightly bent forward, which allows concentrating the force closer to the genital area. The same muscles are contracted that allow you to stop the urine firmly, maintaining force for two seconds. Then they relax very slowly. The same thing is repeated, a total of twenty times. Then rest for a few minutes, and then perform a second series of twenty movements. Rest another period, and finish with another set of twenty, explains the best sexologist in Delhi, India.

Is it just practicing the exercise, or should we use the techniques in some way in sexual intercourse?

The most important thing is the awareness of muscle tension during sexual intercourse, which, as we said before, triggers the arousal process leading to rapid ejaculation, and in other cases blocks the blood filling mechanism of the corpora cavernosa of the penis and therefore hence the erection. Keeping the perineum area relaxed is key to good sexual performance, suggests sex specialist in Delhi, India.

In the case of premature ejaculation, in particular, many patients manage to lower their arousal level by contracting these muscles for about five to ten seconds. 

Any recommendations, in particular, to carry them out? 

The main drawback of this training is the irregularity since it is quite frequent that we forget to do them. That is why top sexologist in Delhi, India advises to always perform them at the same time of day, or even place alarms on the cell phone. Kegel exercise apps for men and women were also developed that help not only remembers but also practice various exercise protocols. 

Another important recommendation is to avoid contracting muscles that have nothing to do with the technique, such as the buttocks, abdomen, and legs. Training should focus on the pelvic floor muscles. 

Finally, the technique can be used for the rest of life and have it as a routine since it is preventive of sexual dysfunctions and urinary incontinence.