Ten keys on delayed ejaculation

1. What is delayed ejaculation?

Although it is something that is not talked about much, the truth is that it is not uncommon for men (or their partners) to consult a sexologist in Delhi for an ejaculation time that they consider excessive. They usually consult because the penetrations (or other genital stimulation practices) are prolonged in time, causing themselves, or their partners, to get tired or start to feel discomfort.

It is known as “delayed ejaculation” or “problems from an ejaculation time that is considered excessive”. In cases in which ejaculation fails to occur, we speak of anejaculation, absence of ejaculation, or ejaculatory inability.

Men with this difficulty often feel some degree of arousal and pleasure, but it is not enough to trigger an orgasm.

Difficulty ejaculating usually occurs mainly during penetration; it is estimated that 85% of these men can ejaculate without problems with masturbation and 50% also ejaculate with oral or manual stimulation from their partner (Masters and Johnson, 1966).

2. Is there a specific time to talk about delayed ejaculation?

Many sexologists in Delhi do not speak of a specific time. It must be taken into account that each man is different, and if there is a partner, each couple is different too. There are men who take 30 minutes to ejaculate from the start of penetration and are satisfied, and so are their partners, because of their particular tastes, because of how their erotic relationships are (possibly they alternate penetration with other relationships), or because of how they manage ejaculation times. Other men with the same time are dissatisfied and so are their partners.

Men who have times of 45 minutes or more, or who never ejaculate, tend to be the most dissatisfied, as are their partners.

In short, it is dissatisfaction that mainly defines whether a man suffers from a sexual problem or not, rather than the specific time. 

3. Is it frequent or is it a very unusual erotic difficulty?

Most studies place its incidence between 4 and 11% of the populatio.

In our sexologist clinic in Delhi, we have noticed a clear increase in consultations about this erotic difficulty from 20 years to now, although this increase may be due to the fact that there are more men with this difficulty or that the men with this difficulty are the same but now they feel less embarrassed when it comes to seeking help to improve their erotic life. 

4. What specialist should be consulted?

If the man never ejaculates, neither in solo masturbation, nor in shared masturbation, nor in penetration, nor in any erotic practice, the ideal thing would be for him to go to the urologist in Delhi first, to rule out an organic pathology as the cause of the ejaculation.

If the man ejaculates without problems alone, but has difficulties with a partner, the cause is most likely psychological or relational, and our advice would be to visit the best sexologist in Delhi.

It is not uncommon to work in coordination, that is, that different professionals (medicine, urology, sexology...) evaluate the person from their different areas, to offer better care together.

 

5. How does delayed ejaculation affect the quality of the erotic relationship?

Each case is different, but to offer some general keys, it must be taken into account that some penetrations last 30 or 45 minutes, or even more, without the man having ejaculated. This can cause some couples (both heterosexual and homosexual) tiredness, boredom, or even discomfort that can become important.

When the problem continues over time and occurs in practically every sexual relationship, it sometimes translates into a lack of desire from the partner, a lack of desire from the man himself, who feels frustrated and anguished by his difficulty in reaching orgasm, and that they are also afraid of the image they may give to their partner, what the other person may think or how they will react. Some men even end up having erection problems, if they are very worried and stressed by the absence of ejaculation. And sometimes it can lead to disagreements with the couple.

6. How do the partners of men with this difficulty usually react?

Couples, whether they are women or other men, tend to react worse when they relate the lack of ejaculation, or their partner's ejaculation difficulties, with a low desire for them.

In other words, if the partner of this man who finds it difficult to ejaculate, attributes this difficulty to the fact that his partner does not find her attractive or exciting, or that the erotic life they have in common bores him, that he does not like his body... he usually Reacting negatively affects her self-esteem and she is less understanding of her partner's ejaculation times.

It should be noted that on many occasions men's ejaculation difficulties are NOT caused by a lack of attraction or desire towards their partner. When the problem is not attraction or desire, and this is made clear to both partners (sometimes with help from sexologist doctor in Delhi), the problem is much more easily resolved.

7. What are usually the physical causes?

Certain drugs can delay ejaculation or even prevent it (antidepressants, antihypertensives, antipsychotics, etc.). For example, it is estimated that people who are taking certain antidepressants (SSRIs) or antipsychotics present ejaculation disorders in 50% of cases. Therefore it is important to see what drugs the person is taking and their possible side effects.

Also certain chronic diseases (such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis...), spinal cord injuries, genital surgeries (prostate, for example), trauma, stroke, hormonal disorders, alcohol or drug abuse... can cause difficulties with ejaculation, among other physical factors.

It should be noted that with increasing age, the time required to ejaculate tends to increase as well.

8.  Does it usually have a psychological or sexological cause?

It is the most frequent. Some men who find it difficult to ejaculate in penetrative relationships are excessively concerned about their partner's pleasure, about the possible image they may give, even about the fear of not ejaculating, and all of this makes it difficult for them to abandon themselves, become aroused and ejaculate.

In other cases, some men who do not have difficulties to ejaculate alone, with a partner, by matching their movements, the type of stimulation and the rhythm of said stimulation to the partner, manage to enjoy but they lack a plus of excitement to achieve orgasm.. Both causes can occur separately or together.

9. What advice could be offered to couples with this difficulty?

If there is a partner, dialogue with the partner is essential. If the man finds his partner attractive and that is not the cause of his difficulty in ejaculating, he should make this clear to her. When the people who make up a couple understand the motivations and causes of the behavior of the other party, it is much easier for difficulties to be addressed with serenity, assertiveness and patience.

It is usually useful not to be obsessed that the man with this difficulty reaches orgasm at all costs, there are relationships that can be given with excitement and pleasure for him and assume that he may not reach orgasm on some occasion. It is also useful not to focus everything on penetration and to carry out practices such as manual stimulation (by the partner or himself), oral sex, caresses and massages, etc.

10. How is it usually approached in the sexology consultation?

 First, an evaluation is carried out to clarify the causes of delayed ejaculation and the dissatisfaction of the couple.

If the causes are psychological or sexological, they are frequently addressed by offering guidelines for improving sexual life in the stable couple or with occasional partners.

Generally, keys are offered to improve arousal and abandonment in erotic encounters and that the rhythm, stimulation, and movements adapt to those that the man needs to achieve orgasm, ensuring that this also translates into an improvement of the relationship with the partner.

It is also favored that erotic relationships are not reduced to penetration, but that the range of erotic techniques is expanded. And work is done to improve the man's self-esteem, the image of him as a man and as a capable lover, as a way to facilitate going relaxed and confident to meetings, and therefore, to achieve orgasm.

If there is a partner, you always try to work with your partner as a system, as a team, to achieve the best results.

STDs Symptoms & Treatment Options

What are sexually transmitted infections?

They are infections that are spread by unprotected sexual contact (penis-vagina, anal or oral) with an infected person. They are caused by fungi, parasites, bacteria or viruses. They can also be contracted through skin contact with infected areas or ulcers of the sufferer. The most common are syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital herpes, hepatitis B and C, those caused by the AIDS virus (HIV) and the human papilloma virus.

Any sexually active person can get sexually transmitted infections. It affects men and women of any age and condition, but especially sexually active adolescents. Some behaviors increase the probability of contracting them, such as having several partners. Some infections can cause, in the long term, irreversible damage such as sterility, cancer in the sexual organs of men and women and, in some cases, even death.

What are the symptoms?

They are very variable. Often you do not have any initial symptoms of these infections and they may go undetected. When they do manifest, they usually do so in the genital area (penis, vulva, vagina and surrounding areas, including the anus), in both boys and girls. Any symptom that affects the genitals is suspicious. For example, an unusual sore, warts, hives or blisters, foul-smelling discharge, painful or burning sensation when urinating, intense itching, pain with sexual intercourse, a swollen gland in that area... And in girls, in addition, bleeding between menstrual cycles or pain in the pelvic area (in the lower part of the belly).

Always pay attention to these symptoms, because they can disappear on their own over time. But that does not indicate that the infection has been cured.

 

When should it be consulted?

When any of the symptoms mentioned or any other that gives rise to doubts appears. Also when an unprotected sexual relationship has been maintained, which suggests a possible contagion.

It is highly recommended for all people with sexual activity to have periodic check-ups with sexologist in Delhi to rule them out, even if they do not have symptoms. Especially teenagers and young people. And it is very important to remember this when you have a new sexual partner and even more so if you have multiple partners.

How are they diagnosed?

The only sure way to know if you have an infection of this type is to go to the sexologist doctor in Delhi to get the necessary tests. They are easy to do and absolutely confidential.

The tests are different for each type of infection. They generally consist of a physical examination and a culture of discharge from the vagina, penis, or anus. Sometimes they may include a urine and blood test.

How are they treated?

Early treatment of these infections prevents complications. Home treatments are not effective in curing these diseases and self-medicating only complicates things.

Treatments for most infections caused by bacteria and fungi are simple and effective, usually consisting of creams to apply to the genital area and medicines to take by mouth. Infections caused by viruses are more complex to treat and usually require longer follow-ups.

It is convenient that people who receive treatment notify their partner, so that they can consult the best sexologist in Delhi and have the necessary tests done.

How can they be prevented?

You have to know about their existence and how to contract them in order to prevent them. It is important to share the information as a family, to make sure that the youngest members of the house are well informed. That will allow you to clarify doubts.

The good news is that we can protect ourselves and protect ourselves from these diseases. 100% security is only provided by refraining from relationships. But the use of latex condoms and other types of barriers, such as the female condom, reduce the risk of contracting them. It is important to use them with every sexual contact, even if you are using another contraceptive method.

In sexual relations affection and pleasure are shared. Taking into account the recommendations mentioned to practice safe sex will mean that there is no need to worry later.

Does Size Matters?

For a long time, the size of the penis has been given relevance in relation to satisfaction in sexual relations. There are many men who are concerned about the size of their penis and often search penis enlargement treatment in Delhi, while there are many other people who say that it is not important.

All this of the sizes has been quite traversed by the genre. Women are bombarded with messages from the time we are little and there is a lot of talk about the sizes of our bodies, the size of our clothes, our weight, the size of the chest... and in the case of men, for some time now it is valued that the penises are large. However, in the case of measuring things in men, it is said a lot that "size does not matter".

But is it really true that penis size doesn't matter for sexual satisfaction?

The size of the penis is associated with virility, "the bigger the size, the better, and the more pleasure it is in penetration", it is often thought. Perhaps this very visual part of sexual relations is mediated by the image of huge penises and endless penetrations that pornography sells us, much of it false and staged. And this has become a concern for many men because we have more and more access to the internet and at younger ages. And since sex education is less than we would like, many times what is seen in pornography is accepted as valid and we think that our bodies and our stamina should be like what is seen on the screen.

The point is that by giving so much importance to the size of the penis we are practically focusing only on penetration. But there are many other practices that do not involve the penis and that are very pleasurable. In fact, in the case of people with a vulva, most of the pleasure and orgasms come from clitoral stimulation and not so much from vaginal penetration. Only 20% of people with a vagina usually have orgasms only with vaginal penetration. And yet, practically 100% of people with a vulva (except nerve damage, sensitivity, etc.) can have orgasms with clitoral stimulation. Therefore, in this sense, the size of the penis is irrelevant for pleasure or the achievement of orgasm, says sexologist in Delhi.

 

Now, focusing only on penetration, does size matter? When talking about sizes, perhaps here it would also be relevant to talk about the size, not only of the penis, but also of the vagina. Because there is much talk about the size of the penis, but we forget that vaginas also have sizes, which vary from one person to another. Vaginas in a resting state (without arousal) usually measure about 10 centimeters on average. During arousal, the vaginas widen and stretch, they can get up to twice their size at rest. There is a myth that vaginas widen or get bigger if you have had a lot of sex or have sex with a lot of people. This is not true, vaginas do not give themselves, and the size of each vagina is as random or genetic as the size of the nose.

So, for a penetration to be pleasurable for whoever receives it, what is needed is that the size of the penis and the size of the vagina match more or less. Keep in mind that vaginas do not have many nerve endings, the clitoris has many more. But if a penis is significantly larger than the vagina, penetration will probably be painful or uncomfortable. The same happens with anal penetration, not only the size of the penis comes into play, but other factors such as the ease with which the anus dilates, which also does not dilate like vaginas and does not have its own lubrication. In this practice, usually larger penises can be more difficult to insert, explains best sexologist in Delhi.

Therefore, the size of the penis itself is irrelevant. What matters for a penetration to be pleasurable is that the genitals involved mate approximately and it is a desired practice for all parties. The rest is about testing the positions that are best for each person, in some we will feel more, in others less, because depending on the position and the angle, deeper or less deep penetrations can be facilitated. For this it is very important to have good communication with our sexual partner to indicate which things we like more, which less and seek solutions together or seek expert advice of sexologist doctor in Delhi. And remember that there are thousands of sexual practices that are very pleasurable and do not have to involve penetration.

And finally, remember also that in the pleasure of any erotic practice, not only the genitals and their sizes are involved (if the genitals are involved, by the way), but also desires, good treatment, imagination, confidence, feelings, attractions, good connection and desire to play of the people who carry it out, and that generally matter much more than the sizes, shapes and colors of the genitals, says best sexologist in Delhi.

We are a center specialized in sexology and couples. We are in the center of Delhi. We are a team made up of expert medical stafs, and specialized in orientation, support, sexological advice and therapy for people with sexual or relational problems. If you want more information, visit our sexologist clinic in Delhi.