Delayed Ejaculation - What is it?

1. What is delayed ejaculation?

Although it is something that is not talked about much, the truth is that it is not uncommon for men (or their partners) to consult sexologists and sexologists for a time of ejaculation that they consider excessive. They usually consult because penetrations (or other genital stimulation practices) lengthen over time, causing them, or their partners, to get tired or begin to feel discomfort.

It is known as “delayed ejaculation," but sometimes it is also called “late ejaculation," or "problems with an ejaculation time that is considered excessive." In cases where ejaculation fails to occur, there is talk of an ejaculation, absence of ejaculation, or ejaculatory disability.

Men with this difficulty usually feel a certain degree of excitement and pleasure, but it is not enough to trigger orgasm.

The difficulty to ejaculate usually occurs mainly in penetration, it is estimated that 85% of these men can ejaculate without problems with masturbation and 50% also ejaculate with oral or manual stimulation of the couple (Masters and Johnson, 1966).

2. Is there a certain time to talk about delayed ejaculation?

Many sexologists in Delhi do not talk about a specific time. Keep in mind that each man is different, and in case there is a partner, each couple is too. There are men who take 30 minutes to ejaculate since they begin penetration and are satisfied and their partners too, for their particular tastes, for how their erotic relationships are (possibly alternate penetration with other relationships), or for how they manage ejaculation times of him, etc. Other men with that same time are dissatisfied and their partners too.

Men who have times of 45 minutes or more, or who never ejaculate, are usually the ones who are most dissatisfied, as well as their partners.

In short, it is the dissatisfaction that mainly defines the man suffering from a sexual problem or not, more than the specific time.

3. Is it frequent or is it a very unusual erotic difficulty?

By providing some data, the best sexologist in Delhi estimates that 4% of men suffer from this erotic difficulty. Most studies place their incidence between 4 and 11% of the population.

In our sexologist clinic in Delhi, we have noticed a clear increase in consultations on this erotic difficulty of 15 years here, although this increase may be due to the fact that there are more men with this difficulty or that men with this difficulty are the same but now they feel less shame when looking for help to improve their erotic life.

4. Which specialist should you consult?

If the man never ejaculates, neither in solo masturbation, nor in shared masturbation, nor in penetration, nor in any erotic practice, it would be ideal if he went to the sexologist doctor in Delhi in the first place, to rule out an organic pathology as a cause of trouble.

If the man ejaculates without problems alone, but has difficulties as a couple, most likely the cause is psychological or relational, and our advice would be to visit the top sexologist in Delhi.

It is not uncommon to work in coordination, that is to say, that different professionals (of medicine, urology, sexology ...) evaluate the person from their different areas, to offer a better care together.

5. How does delayed ejaculation affect the quality of the erotic relationship?

Each case is different, but to offer some general keys, it must be taken into account that some penetrations are extended 30 minutes or 45, or even more, without the man having come to ejaculate. This can cause in some couples (both heterosexual and homosexual) fatigue, boredom, or even discomfort that can become important.

When the problem continues over time and occurs in virtually all sexual relationships, it sometimes results in lack of desire of the couple, lack of desire of the man himself, who feels frustrated and distressed by his difficulty in reaching orgasm, and that he also fears the image he can give to his partner, what the other person may think or how he reacts. Even some men end up having problems with erection, if they are very worried and stressed by the absence of ejaculation. And sometimes it can lead to disagreements with the couple, warns sex specialist in Delhi.

6. How do men's partners usually react with this difficulty?

Couples, whether women or other men, tend to react worse when they relate to the lack of ejaculation, or the difficulties of ejaculation of their partner, with a low desire towards their person.

That is to say, if the couple of this man who finds it hard to ejaculate, attributes that difficulty to their partner not finding it attractive or exciting, or to being bored by the erotic life they have in common, who does not like their body ... usually reacting negatively affects self-esteem and is less understanding of your partner's ejaculation times, explains sex specialist doctor in Delhi.

It should be noted that on many occasions the difficulties of ejaculation of men are NOT caused by a lack of attraction or desire towards their partner. When the problem is not attraction or desire, and this is clear to both partners (sometimes with professional help), the problem is solved much more easily, says sex doctor in Delhi.

7. What are usually the physical causes?

 Certain drugs can delay ejaculation or even prevent it (antidepressants, antihypertensives, antipsychotics, etc.). For example, it is estimated that people who are taking certain antidepressants (SSRIs) or antipsychotics have ejaculation abnormalities in 50% of cases (Sarquella, Vilches, Palma, 2014). Therefore it is important to see what drugs the person is taking and their possible side effects, suggests the best sex doctor in Delhi.

Also certain diseases chronic (such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis ...), lesions in the spinal cord surgeries genitalia (prostate, for instance), trauma, stroke, hormonal disorders, alcohol abuse or drug ... may cause difficulties with Ejaculation, among other physical factors.

It should be noted that with increasing age, the time needed to ejaculate also usually increases.

 8.  Do you usually have a psychological or sexological cause?

It is the most frequent. Some men who find it hard to ejaculate in penetration relationships are excessively aware of their partner's pleasure, of the possible image they may give, even of the fear of not ejaculating, and all of this makes it difficult for them to abandon themselves, get excited and ejaculate, says sexologist in East Delhi.

In other cases, some men who do not have difficulties to ejaculate alone, as a couple, by coupling their movements, the type of stimulation and the rhythm of said stimulation to the couple, manage to enjoy but they lack a plus of excitement to achieve orgasm. Both causes can be given separately or together, says sexologist in South Delhi.

9. What advice could be offered to couples with this difficulty?

If there is a partner, dialogue with the couple is essential. If the man finds his partner attractive and that is not the cause for his difficulty in ejaculating, he must explain it clearly. When the people who make up a couple understand the motivations and causes of the other party's behavior, it is much easier for the difficulties to be addressed with serenity, assertiveness and patience, suggests sexologist in North Delhi.

It is usually useful not to obsess that the man with this difficulty reaches orgasm at all costs, there are relationships that can occur with excitement and pleasure from him and assume that he may not reach orgasm at some time. It is also useful not to focus everything on penetration and perform practices such as manual stimulation (by the couple or himself), oral sex, caresses and massages, etc, suggests sexologist in West Delhi.

10. How is it usually addressed in the sexology consultation?

 First, an evaluation is carried out to clarify the causes of late ejaculation and the dissatisfaction of the couple.

If the causes are psychological or sexological, they are often addressed by offering guidelines for the improvement of sexual life in the stable partner or with the occasional partners.

Generally, keys are offered to improve arousal and abandonment in erotic encounters and that the rhythm, stimulation, and movements adapt to those that man needs to achieve orgasm, ensuring that this also translates into an improvement in the relationship with the couple, says sexologist in Rohini.

It is also favored that erotic relationships are not reduced to penetration, but that the range of erotic techniques is extended. And it works to improve the self-esteem of man, his image as a man and as a capable lover, as also a way to facilitate going relaxed and committed to meetings, and therefore, to achieve orgasm, explains the best sexologist in Rohini.

If there is a partner, you always try to work with the couple as a system, as a team, to achieve the best results.