Fear of Sex: Causes And Solutions

Intimate encounters in a couple are an important source of reinforcement that allows the relationship to stay together. However, there are people who find in those moments one of the greatest fears that they must face, either due to the panic of ridicule, not being up to the task, the possible pain that can occur during intercourse or other variants. This fear of sexual intercourse affects both men and women in different ways and is much more common than it seems.

Currently, there are multiple types of fears, phobias and disgust in society, caused by the idea of ​​exaggerated control that one has, perfectionism, excessive hygiene, among others. All this contributes to the constant appearance of more and new cases of sex panic, which is reflected every day in the avoidance of the practice, as the main mechanism, anxiety crisis before the situation, it can even lead to somatization and appearance of diseases of difficult diagnosis.

But how do you know if you are afraid of sex?

As Dr. P k Gupta, sexologist in Delhi points out, nowadays there is a trend towards “self-diagnosis through the search for information - rather misinformation according to the expert - on the Internet and after that a greater inclination to self-therapy or an attempt at self-psycho treatment. " However, from sexology this fear can be divided into several types. On the one hand, the real phobia of sexuality or any of the elements that encompasses it, such as pregnancy, coital behavior or one's own or the other's genitalia. The phobic character also occurs that presents a more stable form of behavior, by automatically regulating the panic attack. And on the other hand, disgust.

Sexologist doctor in Delhi points out that both the latter and phobias have in common that they can turn into disorders if they turn into irrational fear. "It is rational to feel disgusted if I touch or taste something disgusting, but it is not rational if I stop having a relationship because I have some hair on my genitals or I force myself and my partner to always shower before and after the relationship," exemplifies the expert.

 

Once this fear has been diagnosed, the causes of its appearance must be known. The origin may be due to several reasons, such as the trauma caused by rape or abuse, the anxiety of a woman to become pregnant due to her mother's own fear or personalizing the sexual problems of others in oneself.

However, currently one of the main causes derives from the search for perfection in sexual life. The media, the early consumption of pornography, the over information, are generating real panic pictures about sexual relations. “Currently, there are men who, because of watching pornography at a very young age and the irrational idea that this is what to do and with that power and staging, become overwhelmed and feel unable to put it into practice. When they have their first experience and see how far they are from that irrational model, they enter an avoidance loop,” exemplifies sex specialist in Delhi.

Also, the excessive advertising of hygiene products and their results is generating new disgust and phobias. “Today the concept of the perfect vulva has appeared, sold by plastic surgeons. I understand that when there is a malformation someone wants to make it disappear, but turning a normal, large, small vulva, with more or less labia minora, into an object of personal rejection is an iatrogenic barbarity”, best sexologist in Delhi points out.

Possible solutions

Although there are several reasons why fear of sex can be present in anyone's sexual life, the existing measures to solve it are also varied. The first step is to identify the problem, once it has been achieved, you should immediately go to a sex doctor in Delhi. 

The expert points out that “one should not wait too long to ask for professional help”, to which he adds that “many try to seek outside help, face their fear with courage, for this they go to brothels, get married to force themselves, or introduce objects into their sexual organs. " On the contrary, you have to be aware and realistic when identifying the problem and go to the sex specialist doctor in Delhi. Dr. Gupta believes that "you should never go to the search for detailed information, or to self-treatment."

In addition, for this fear to disappear successfully, the help and support of the partner is necessary. This plays a very important role. “The behavior that the couple must adopt is to understand that the other has a problem and that he or she does not have to be the culprit or cause. The ideal help that he or she can offer is first in convincing and then collaborating with him or her in therapy”, explains the sexologist in Delhi.

Once this fear is overcome, the next step is to achieve maximum security in the sexual sphere, for this we must “eliminate the concepts of perfect sex, the concept of tantric sex or Disney romanticism, which have done as much damage as the pornographic one”, sexologist in Delhi emphasizes. All have created fear and insecurity or frustrations by distancing expectations from reality. "In sex, like everything in life, security is achieved with practice," says the best sexologist in Delhi.

Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction

 Treatment of erectile dysfunction… Perhaps this is the most awaited text. However I must inform you that I will not talk about any magic formula for having good erections. So, it is likely that I will disappoint you. It will also not indicate a new miracle medication. Anyway, like almost everything in life, to get results we have to make an effort. I will talk about what is important and has scientific support for erectile dysfunction treatment in Delhi.

First of all, I would like to point out that with some exceptions: psychogenic erectile dysfunction, after pelvic / perineal trauma and due to hormonal causes - sexual impotence is treated, but does not cure, in such a way that the dialogue between doctor, patient and partner it's essential.

Is the partner's involvement important in the treatment of erectile dysfunction?

Certainly. The partner often takes responsibility for the lack of erection. Then she loses self-esteem, for imagining that the patient is no longer attracted. At other times, she suspects that he has another relationship and, therefore, is unable to satisfy her as before. Undeniably, some (ones) start to investigate the patients' lives, unhappy (because) they avoid sex.

In addition, several studies indicate that, in the face of the man's erection failure, the partner has a differential role. Thus, that who admits that he may be experiencing a health problem and encourages him to seek treatment becomes an ally. However, that minimizes, is indisposed or becomes indifferent, contributes to the maintenance or worsening of erectile dysfunction.

Non-drug treatment

Life Style Change

According to what sexologist in Delhi said earlier , it is interesting to think that the beginning of the treatment is the change in lifestyle and the control of risk factors. Therefore, starting regular physical activity, giving up smoking and other drugs and dietary reeducation are central. Certainly, controlling existing diseases and exchanging medications that happen to contribute to sexual impotence is also interesting.

However, how many times have you heard of it? In fact, it is necessary to change habits, as well as to assume the consequences of what we chose to do today. Selecting a good diet and developing healthy habits is certainly a personal responsibility. In summary, giving priority to reducing refined sugar, white flour, fatty meat fats, butter, fatty milks, and trans fats can be a first step. At the same time, stopping tobacco use and starting physical activities will surprisingly help, says sexologist doctor in Delhi.

Sex Therapy

Because the psychogenic factor is important, and to a greater or lesser extent, it is present in practically all patients, but, especially in young people, best sexologist in Delhi emphasizes the importance of performing sexual therapy. It is often the only treatment needed and other times it can be an ally with medications.

The objectives of sexual therapy for erectile dysfunction are:

• Identify and work with resistance to medical intervention that results in treatment abandonment;
• Reduce performance anxiety;
• Understand the context in which the patient has sex;
• Promote psychoeducation and adapt the patient's “sexual script”.

The effectiveness of therapy depends on focusing on pleasure, reducing anxiety, decreasing the emphasis on the sexual act and promoting awareness of sexual feelings. They can optimize the results: therapeutic bond and motivation / support of the partner, establishment of goals for the patient and his / her partner. The focus of sex therapy should not only be improving performance, but sexual comfort and pleasure.

And young people, why do they have erectile dysfunction?

Before going on to the general guidelines of the treatment, I would like at this point to stop for a while and speak specifically about young people. In them, most of the risk factors discussed are absent. In contrast, insecurity, fear of failure and negative self-image can be seen as significant causes. The problem may also arise from a conflict related to sexual orientation or identity.

Under these circumstances, the young man releases high concentrations of adrenaline in the circulation, which impairs the filling of the corpora cavernosa of the penis, and thus presents difficulty in erection. Once the dysfunction starts, the continuation and aggravation depend on emotional factors: shaken self-esteem increases the fragility and the lack of confidence in recovery and performance, explains sex specialist in Delhi.

Undeniably, what I put above are the most important points of treatment, however, it is difficult for patients to strive to do so. And I'm not judging people for that. Changing our lifestyle, taking care of existing illnesses, accepting that we need best sex treatment in Delhi and looking for it is a challenge for all of us.

Why am I afraid or avoid having sex?

• 5% of visits to the sexologist have fear of sex as a common link.
• It occurs more among women, but men suffer too.
• The aversion is not a sexual dysfunction or a low desire state and can be a "temporary" or "permanent" situation.

Sex is a rewarding experience for most mortals. Or at least they were. Modern society - with its new ways of relating - has transferred its rules and values ​​and, consequently, its fears to bed, according to the best sexologist in Delhi.

Everyone agrees that the aversion to having sex - that is, the fear of having sex with a stable or sporadic partner - is on the rise in the new century, since before it was "isolated cases" who suffered some kind of rejection they affirm.

Although there are no reliable surveys in sexology, professional experience at the foot of the couch allows us to extrapolate some figures. As explained by the professionals, about 5% of patients who go to the sexologist clinic in Delhi do so because of a phobia or sexual aversion.

Of these, the least are those whose fear is based on objective causes: previous sexual abuse, bad experiences or sexual dysfunctions such as vaginismus, which end up causing rejection. The rest of the patients who come to the consultation have developed a sexual phobia based on the fear of not being up to the task in their response.

“The fear increases because now people talk more about sex and compare more. They have more promiscuous relationships and with more sexual partners ", explains Dr. P K Gupta, sex specialist in Delhi. “The value of competitiveness is transferred to the sexual field," he adds.

An opinion shared by the top sexologist in Delhi Dr. P K Gupta. "Today you have to be an ace in everything, including in bed," he says. "The sexual fearful is someone demanding, they are personalities with fear of not measuring up and who see that they have no training in the sexual aspect," he adds. "People come to consultation because the couple knows or wants more because they have had other sexual relationships in which they have enjoyed more," he says. That's where the fears begin.

 

Complexes of all kinds

Is this aversion ... suffered by women and men alike? "Fear is manifested more in women than in men, but they also suffer from it," says sex doctor in Delhi, who explains that "fear of commitment or stable relationships is occurring in them" as a trigger for aversion.

In women - continues the sexologist doctor in Delhi - fear may be before practicing it, for fear of the uncertainty that it creates for them. There is also fear of pain during the relationship and physical complexes regarding his body when faced with nudity.

In sexual social fear there are complexes of all kinds. Self-esteem, excessive demand or cases in which there has been a very restrictive sexual education. Or sometimes a combination of all of them, confirms sexologist in Lajpat Nagar.

The fear of sex - which can develop in a first-time partner or in experienced lovers who after years of relationship change partners - can be "permanent" or "temporary" , the latter depending on personal circumstances such as stress, sexologist in Delhi point outs. In both cases, phobias can be treated with a variety of therapies.

On the other hand, it is advisable not to confuse sexual aversion with a state of low sexual desire or with a physiological dysfunction when maintaining intimate contact.

Sexual aversion: Phobia of sexual contact. Relationships are feared or avoided. Some of these people are not able to maintain certain sexual activities, for example oral sex, while others express anxiety about any situation associated with sex: a kiss.

Low sexual desire: When what predominates is the lack of interest in relationships, we would be facing the case of lack of sexual desire, but not fear.

Sexual Dysfunction: Problems point in human sexual response.

"In India there has been no sexual revolution"

Dr P K Gupta, Consultant Sexologist in Delhi & director of the Dr P K Gupta’s Super Speciality Clinic Pvt. Ltd.

What does Indian lack in sexual matters?: Information.

And what is the most wrong?: They continue to see penetration as the summum of sexual intercourse.

Do taboos persist?: You are afraid to innovate and enjoy your sexual relationship with ease.

Not experienced in bed?: Oral sex is still taboo and other practices are considered much worse. In India there has not yet been a sexual revolution.

Who suffers more from fear?: Men have more fear of sexual interaction because they are not up to the task, and women are more afraid of emotional loss. This is because the man attributes and is attributed more responsibility in sexual satisfaction and that creates pressure. In the case of women, it is because it generates more attachment in sexual relations and therefore affects them more.

How is this phobia detected ?: Without realizing it, you run away from having a relationship. There are fewer fears in a sporadic relationship than in a stable one, where there is affection.

Are fears old ?: It occurs more when the time [age] to have a partner arrives, but it is also occurring in older people, who divorce and have to start from scratch.

How do I act?

Clinical sexologist in Delhi Dr P K Gupta points out the guidelines to face a sexual aversion or phobia.

Must be...

1. Face fear by not allowing yourself to be blocked by it or giving in to anxiety.

2. Avoid anxiety at the idea of ​​not having an adequate sexual performance.

3. Promote good communication with the couple by expressing emotions correctly and taking the sexual relationship with ease.

4. Seek support from sexologist in Delhi when sexual aversion becomes chronic, since in general the phobia will escalate and become disabling.

You have to flee from ...

1. The erroneous information that circulates on the networks and that reinforces the ignorance about the anatomy of the own body and that of the couple are harmful.

2. Comparing yourself to other people, especially at the level of physical complexes and sexual performance, incorporates fear into sexual relationships.

3. Lack of coordination and lack of rapport with the partner, neglecting their needs can precipitate rejection.

4. Lack of self-esteem favors insecurity.

Sexual Problems, A Taboo In The Couple

In many couples the law of silence has been established in reference to sexual problems. Although the couple is opening up more and more to talk about these issues, there are still some that consider it a taboo. Both men and women can suffer from some sexual dysfunctions. The most common among men are erectile dysfunction (impotence) and premature ejaculation. Among women, hypoactive sexual desire and vaginismus (pain when having sex). The latest studies estimate a prevalence of 40% of men with sexual problems. Among women it is estimated that 43%. This implies that a good part of couples suffer from some sexual problem, says sex specialist in Delhi.

In many cases the issue is not discussed, and this causes no solution to be found. In other cases, an internal attempt is made to solve it using the wrong techniques or myths. Other cases, they decide to go to the help of a sexologist in Delhi, India, to guide them towards a solution. This last solution is usually the most effective, since the members of the couple are likely to be unaware of the cause of both the establishment of the problem and its maintenance.

 

First of all, any organic causes that could cause sexual problems should always be ruled out. Once the medical cause has been ruled out, an evaluation of the problem is performed. Sexologist doctor in Delhi, India who dedicates himself to Sex Therapy must always start with a series of sexual demystifications, which current society has been instilling in us. After this pedagogical work, the work of cognitive behavioral intervention enters, which depending on the problem will be based on some techniques or others.

The most complex task is to arrive at the consultation with the best sexologist in Delhi, India, recognize the problem and approach it as a couple. When the sexual taboo is broken, the first step towards a full and healthy sex life is taken.