Fear of sexual intercourse? Solutions to deal with sex phobia

Can't find the time to have sex? Are you looking for excuses because you are tired or tired? Do you force yourself so as not to make your partner feel bad? Do you have too many things in your head and you do not concentrate? Is your sex not as wonderful as the media shows you? Do you think sex is not for you? Has it been happening to you for a long time and this makes you feel bad? You don't explain it, but it's there. You may avoid thinking or you may turn it over in your head and feel ashamed of what happens to you.

Perhaps you suffer from Erotophobia or sex phobia. In our sexologist clinic in Delhi we can help you.

In other times, sex was a sin except in marriage or to have children, and the feeling of guilt affected sexual relations. Today we take for granted that sex is always natural and fun, yet it is often a cause for anxiety and worry. Paradoxically, when sex has become paradise, the obligation to have great sex is also a source of fear, blockages and, in some cases, phobia.

The clearest cases that determine some type of sex phobia

1. Sex scares you. It has nothing to do with your partner, it may be that you have it and that you are very much in love. The fear of sex has nothing to do with the sexual partner, but with the fact of having intimate relationships.
2. You feel uncomfortable, intimidated or bored with any type of physical contact: hugs, caresses. You may even feel disgusted by a certain type of contact and you can not stop thinking that it is dirty or dangerous for your health.
3. The preliminaries bore you and you feel rejection when thinking about starting the relationship. It's like an obligation and you feel bad for not fulfilling it.
4. You avoid relationships. You have stopped having intimate relationships with your partner.
5. If you do not have a partner, you have already begun to avoid any type of romantic relationship.

When this has happened to you for a long time, you may be building a phobia of sex or erotophobia.

What is Erotophobia?

Erotophobia is the term we use to refer to any phobia related to sex. Often those who suffer from it suffer from more than one specific fear and in each case there is a great variety of symptoms and severity. Each person experiences it differently, just like sex. It has nothing to do with the affection you feel towards your long-time partner or the attraction to someone you just met. It is simply fear of being sexual with another person. You are not asexual, you need intimacy, but sexual intercourse is a problem for you.

 

The 5 most common cases of fear

There are different reasons why we fear and avoid sex, and we end up building this specific phobia.

1. Fear to fail. Intrusive thoughts appear derived from the fear of not reaching an orgasm or erection, or of losing it. You enter a state of concern that leads to the mechanism of not finding or losing what you are looking for or do not want to lose, it is the paradox of the more I look for it, the less I find it.
2. Fear of not being up to the task, of disappointing the partner. There are many expectations regarding the sexual relationship, how the relationship should be, how we should behave. We may be afraid to communicate our wants or needs to our partner. Our past history, level of self-demand or deep desires may be influencing the perception of failure in the sexual relationship and causing us to avoid it.
3. Fear of the pain of penetration or of being damaged in a sensitive part. Also fear of hurting the partner.
4. Fear of showing any part of one's own body.
5. Fear of losing control of oneself or of one's own bodily functions, of making a fool of oneself due to lack of experience, of suffering from previous relationships that did not go well. Paradoxically, when I want to feel something spontaneous, I can't. The excess of control makes us fall into lack of control or blockage of the desired thing.

The different types of phobias that we can suffer

Perhaps you recognize your problem in one of these phobias.

• Coitophobia or genophobia: fear of penetration and specifically of the sexual act. There is no problem with the preliminaries and the intimacy is enjoyed, but the person is blocked at the idea of going further physically.
• Chiraptofobia: Fear of being touched in a generalized way, or in a specific part of the body, frequently in one of the erotic zones, which are by definition very sensitive to touch.
• Gymnophobia: Fear of nudity, being naked, or seeing others naked. The person feels shame because he perceives her body in a negative way, or simply that nudity is something negative.
• Philematophobia: Fear of kissing or being kissed. It is often related to physical concerns such as germs or bad breath.
• Spermatophobia: Fear of semen, both seeing it and touching it.
• Phallophobia and colpophobia: Fear of parts of the body related to sexuality, commonly the penis or female genitalia. They can occur in both men and women.
• Paraphobia: Fear of being a pervert or the perversion of the other, that the sexual relationship itself is a perverse thing. The person can have traditional type of sexual relations, but the doubt haunts him and he can end up avoiding relations altogether, immersed in a sea of doubts.
• Dyspareunia and Vaginismus. The fear of penetration provokes the attempt at control that tenses the muscles generating more pain. Paradoxically, the attempt to relax causes more tension.
• Medolmacuphobia: Frequently the person loses his erection in his attempt to maintain it or because of the fear of losing it.
• Fear of intimacy: There is no fear of the sexual act itself, but of the intimacy that it entails. The person can have intercourse, but is blocked by what feels like an invasion of his body and his control over himself in the intimate relationship, and ends up avoiding the relationship, thus building an invalidating phobia.
• Fear of vulnerability: Like the previous one, it is linked to the feeling of vulnerability and lack of control of the sexual relationship. The person is afraid of being vulnerable or suffering if they don't like it enough or don't do it well enough. It can also affect non-sexual relationships.

The fear of intimacy and the fear of vulnerability can end up causing a Disorder due to lack of desire or the blockage of sensations that lead to orgasm or Anorgasmia.

Tips to help you deal with sex phobia

It has a solution?

Yes, but the complexity of its symptoms requires the help of a specialized sexologist in Delhi. Expectations about sex today are the cause of insecurities and doubts, and fears related to sex are more common than you think.

It is important that you do not feel ashamed before the best sexologist in Delhi and that from the first contact you can explain what is happening to you. It's not easy but the reward is worth the effort.

From strategic brief therapy top sexologist in Delhi works with you to find out exactly how your problem is working and how you are trying to solve it. We will build a custom solution applying tricks that follow non-ordinary logic to unlock the attempted solutions that make your problem worse.

For example, if the problem is more of a phobic type and you avoid more, we establish the protocol for cases of phobia, with techniques such as the worst fantasy, the boundary map or the beautiful statues. Sex specialist in Delhi leads you to face yourself within the limits that you can reach at all times, that is, we seek to put out the fire by adding wood.

If the obsessive component predominates, such as blocking the performance or the fear of losing control, we will also use specific techniques so that you stop making an effort to force the spontaneous, such as prohibition, declaration of incapacity or mourning. Basically, we ask you to make an effort not to feel, that is, to cross the sea without the sky knowing it and to win without fighting.

So now you know, there are infinite ways to experience sex. We need it, it provides us with well-being and we deserve it, however we enjoy it.

How Is Sexual Equality And Orgasms In Your Relationships?

In your relationships, how is this "scale" going, are you both reaching sexual climax or is it not the way you would like? 

This is a question that women should always ask themselves, and discuss it with their partners. 

My New Column On The Spiced Blog

Structurally we grew up hearing that sex, pleasure, orgasm is “for men”. 

Of course, this concept has already changed a lot, the new generations already see it in a different way, but unfortunately there is still a lot of rooted stuff. 

Sex doctor in Delhi often hears testimonies from women who still don't live their sexual lives to the fullest, and for that reason he decided to address this topic.

Precisely to plant some seeds in the heads of women and men, so that they start to look more closely at their relationships and we can live the long-awaited equality, especially sexual equality, the EQUALITY OF ORGASM.

Ahhh… and I can't help but comment on how happy I am to have this space to share my ideas, hear from readers what they think about it, be able to show the importance of sensual and erotic products, and how much they can contribute to having sexual health.

But after all, what is the Orgasm thing? Known and experienced by many, but unfortunately unknown to a significant number of women… 

 

What Is Orgasm?

To exemplify a little bit I took some concepts of ORGASM.

According to the best sexologist in Delhi, Orgasm is the climax or moment of greatest excitement of the sexual act, which causes seminal ejaculation in men and pelvic contractions in women; enjoyed, enjoyment.

Making a synthesis of several concepts, orgasm is a phase of the sexual response cycle where there is a discharge of tension, and a very characteristic pleasure accompanied by a discharge of tension. 

It is the moment when pleasure reaches its maximum intensity; it is a post-tension relaxation reaction that our body produces at the most intense moment of the sexual act. We can call it a discharge of energy. 

These sensations are unique. Each person will feel it in a way, and even in our own body, we often reach a wonderful sensation, an apex of perfect pleasure in that moment and never again. 

When that happens, use this moment as an anchor, keep this memory in your body, it can be very useful for those moments when you can't "get there..." but that's a subject for another text (wait!).

Magical Sensations

For many women these moments are still unknown, or confusing. 

According to sexologist in Delhi, most women in the world have difficulty identifying these magical sensations. 

Orgasm can occur in women through anal, vaginal, breast, clitoral, cerebral, sensory stimulation, etc., in many ways. And in men, orgasm is not always accompanied by ejaculation. 

The absence of orgasm is called anorgasmia.

And if you think that's your problem, don't despair… relax and keep calm.

Maybe only minor adjustments are needed.

In most cases, anorgasmia has psychological causes, trauma, taboos or because the woman's expectations do not correspond to what orgasm actually is. 

It is rare for these disorders to have anatomic causes, such as congenital malformations of the genitals. 

Another important point to pay attention to is the use of drugs or alcohol that can contribute to a decrease in your pleasure. 

Identified that something is not cool? Stop everything and seek the help of professionals in the area so they can help you. 

It could be a gynecologist, pelvic physiotherapist, psychologist, therapist, sexologist in India, sex coach, etc. 

The possibilities for help are wide, it's just not worth thinking that it's normal to live without feeling the wide-ranging pleasures that sex can provide.  

In heterosexual relationships, men are found to have more orgasms than women. 

Of course there are exceptions, we are talking about general rules here. 

The lack of knowledge about the clitoris and the lack of communication during sex are factors that contribute to this inequality, and I believe you will agree with me that we all have a right to reach the climax, the peak of pleasure.

So, men and women, let's unite, putting into practice SEXUAL EQUALITY AND ORGASM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!

Men

Is the female orgasm really that complicated… or are you just not used to being in bed, needing to work a little harder? (I'm not generalizing ok, just planting a seed of reflection).

After all, your partner deserves it, right! 

The more intense pleasure she has, the more moments like these she will want… and together they will be greatly benefited. 

So, start paying attention to what she likes best, take the time, give yourself completely, get out of the automatic stimulation mode. 

Ahh… important detail. These stimuli can't just happen when they're in four walls! 

Leaving for work without saying a good day and then coming back all excited wanting her to be “full” waiting for you, for those who behave like this, this is the time to evaluate a little more and allow yourself to become a better version of yourself each time.

Adding extra clitoral stimulation with hands, mouth or toys can certainly help women climax! 

Note that the stimulus can go beyond the intimate region, and the playground can catch fire, if they wish!

Women

The partner's contribution so that you reach the climax is very important, but we women cannot outsource our pleasure, waiting for the other to make us happy, make us come, make us…. make us... 

We have to be protagonists of our well-being, know what we like, what we want...

But it's not for you to feel guilty, penalizing yourself (this happens a lot). 

What needs to be done is to throw yourself in the search for self-knowledge of emotions, of the body, to know yourself deeply. 

I know this is not an easy task, as we have a history of female repression. 

Sex in many societies is considered sinful, it still has hormonal variations, menopause, premenstrual tension, stress of modern life and even phobias that make sexual intercourse difficult.

And, ironically, the incessant search for orgasm also makes it difficult to achieve it and, solving all this at the same time, is complicated... 

Sex specialist in Delhi suggests starting slowly: 

• Talk about sex – Not only with your partner, but also with your friends, family, etc. Every time we say the word “sex” we are breaking a taboo by actively communicating about sex. 
• Empower Yourself – Seek to understand how female empowerment and sexuality are intertwined.
• Love your body – It is unique and incredibly perfect. It responds to stimuli, preserves memories that can be both good and bad. That's why it's so important to understand what will do him good, in addition to being able to bring you a lot of pleasure. For that you need to know him. 
• Masturbate – In addition to pleasure, masturbation has numerous health benefits.

Final Considerations

The important thing is to remember that orgasm cannot be planned, it happens! 

Now, the most important thing of all is to take care of your moments of pleasure, being alone or accompanied, and not being focused worrying about reaching orgasm (or not). 

Savor the way instead of focusing only on the arrival. 

Maybe you agree with all of this text, maybe you disagree, and that's okay! 

Each one has a lens, a way of seeing the world, events... the important thing is to clean your lens and find your own way to seek fullness.